One friend, named Jennifer, posted me something on a Yahoo group we are in together. It is a group for people who appreciate Mark Rashid's way of doing horsemanship. She gave me permisson to quote her here. Thank you, dear, Jennifer! You are the best!

Jennifer expressed some concern that I might let my worry affect me (which would affect Harley), so she wanted to be sure I considered some things. I love how she worded this.

"What you think is what
you get.  You know, when I rode Tasia the first couple of times, I
was very nervous.  My thoughts the whole way to the barn were
something along the lines of, "Should I be riding her since I'm not a
trainer?  What if I mess her up?  What if I get hurt?  Should I NOT
ride her since I'm worried and I'll make her worried?"  Blah blah
blah.  I was nervous to get on her and just ride. "

I couldn't believe that my friend, Jennifer, felt this way with her young mare Tasia. It just floored me! I thought Jennifer would be the picture of confidence. It encouraged me to read that it isn't just *me* that has these doubts! 

"The third time, I decided to change my thought process.  I wrote a
list of basics I wanted to focus on to ride her correctly on her
first rides (things like my position, my mind-set, how to get her
focus back on me if she did her giraffe imitation at something on the
horizon, and other proactive thoughts on doing it right).  I also
reminded myself that I have been her trainer since she arrived here
as a 2 year old.  Michael guides me by coming out for a lesson twice
a month (thank Heaven for good guidance), but I spend every day with
her, and I've been her trainer every day.  I told myself that I would
ride her like a trainer, because that's what I am, and that's what
she needs.  Hah!  I felt arrogant calling myself a trainer, but it
was something I had to do to move forward and ride her effectively. 
*I am her trainer.*  And the amazing thing was that I wasn't nervous
any more.  I felt prepared."

This is huge. I think that what Jennifer has shared here really can revolutionize my thinking. I *have* been Harley's primary trainer for the past 4 years. While that has its good points and not-so-good points, NOW, with all the things I have learned through reading, watching, experience and so on, I offer him the best..a new improved "trainer." One who knows him pretty well and one who isn't content with staying put in her own horsemanship. I also am better positioned to make a list like Jennifer suggests. I will do that today so that when I go on Friday to my lesson with a ranch horse, perhaps I can make headway on some goals that I know will affect me a lot in what I bring to Harley.

"After Michael [her trainer who has been helping her]
starts to lay the foundation, I will continue in his footsteps and do
my best to ride correctly, listen to Tasia, feel her, enjoy each ride
the same way I enjoy every minute with her when I'm not riding, and
build the partnership."

Right...it isn't supposed to be a big hairy deal. Granted, Tasia is a youngster with no negative experiences in her life! Harley is 17 or older with a truckload of baggage, BUT...none of that matters when push comes to shove. Horses seem to live in the moment. Mark Rashid says a lot about being with the horse you have today or riding the horse you have today and I think horses tend to be with the human they have today. I will view moving to riding as part of the relationship...not as some big hairy scary thing to conquer. I will do MY best to ride correctly, to listen to Harley, to feel him, to enjoy each ride the same way I enjoy every minute with him when I am not riding..and build the partnership! Thank you, Jennifer, for sharing your wisdom!    

" I know my shortcomings, and
I know that focusing on them makes me incapable of rising to the
occasion."

This too is a subtle shift, but profound as well. Rather than focusing on "I have been bucked off and I deserved it and this is why blabbity blah..." I can know that I have learned a truckload through those experiences and now I CHOOSE to rise to this occasion. I will because I have chosen to. There is not an option. Like Yoda says, "Do or not do; there is no try." Obviously, with horses and ourselves there is a place to recognize the try, but in this case, rising to the occasion is just simply a "will happen" kind of thing! Focusing on my shortcomings will hinder that. I will toss of what hinders....

  "Better to acknowledge them, let them go, and focus on the
correct way instead."

This is what I choose to do!

"That doesn't mean I'll throw caution to the
wind and jump on my green horse and go crazy because I've convinced
myself that my shortcomings don't exist anymore.     But it does
mean I'll consider everything I've learned, keep on learning and
listening, and move forward with the calm confidence that the
trainers I admire possess because that's what Fantasia needs."

ME TOO! ME TOO!   

" Even
great trainers don't have ALL the answers, but they work to find the
right answer/motivation for each horse while staying calm &
confident."

THANK YOU, Jennifer! I needed your pep talk!