Some of my friends are so excited that they say Melissa is a horse whisperer and I mentioned that in the "circles I run in" (whatever that means) it is more a "horse listener." The difference is vital to me and, I think, to the horse. I have known that about Harley almost since the get go and have learned it is true of all of the horses. It *is* a dialog, so it helps to be able to communicate to the horse and to do it with a whisper rather than a shout.
This was patently obvious to me yesterday as I watched the two ladies in my lesson...I learn a lot by watching others. One is new to riding since September and the other rode as a kid and is just returning to riding in her mid-forties.
They each commented numerous time to J that the horses weren't doing what they were told. At one point I felt similarly and then asked J about what was going on--I tend to believe the horse wants to do what I ask and I must not be asking right or something. One of the other ladies just said the horse was a butt. (Frankly, the horse had a stiff right hind, too, and was clearly uncomfortable. J noticed that and explained to the rider that could be part of what was going on). To anwer my question, J explained that my leg cues were exactly opposite from the training of the horse. If I put a little of my left leg on Ricky near his girth (slightly in front), I thought that would move him to the right...send his shoulder away from the pressure. J said no, that the horse actually will pivot around my left leg, coming left, so that my left leg is on the inside of his turn. Sure enough, once I understood that, I could see that was what he was doing. He was trying to do what I was *saying*...what I was *saying* was not what I thought I was saying! LOL! In fact, the tiniest bit of left leg there and he gave me his left eye just a bit...it was fascinating.
I wondered if the challenges the other ladies faced were due to similar things. For instance, one lady couldn't get forward from her horse. She had the reins cranked back. This lady said her horse wasn't doing what he was told, but he clearly was...the rider had shut the door forward so to speak. He was being told not to go forward.
It is obvious when I look at others, but I have learned I need to always ask that of myself, too...what am I REALLY saying?
The other thing that struck me with the talking to the horse and listening to him is that it would be easy to think of Ricky as "dull." J told me to get forward on him I had to bump him with my heels repeatedly. This wasn't what Ricky said he needed. I hate not to do what I am told by J on the one hand, but the horse's view supercedes hers...and I hoped she wouldn't feel irritated with me (she never seemed to). Ricky seemed agitated with the "bumping" on his sides. If I squeezed with my legs and waited only a second or two I got a lovely forward, much more quickly than when I "bumped" him and without a tail swish, too.
The other two ladies asked me after class about why I rode Ricky in a halter. I confessed that I didn't feel that a bit controls the horse. As long as I have fear issues, not to mention ignorance about bits and bitting, I didn't trust my hands not to crank in a way that would be counter-productive to my ability to learn. If the horse is hurting or unhappy, it would keep him from teaching me as well as I know he can. I explained my view that the bit doesn't control the horse, the horse's mind controls the horse and his feet (from where I sit). The horse has to offer his mind no matter what he is being ridden in. The bits certainly hadn't helped these two ladies with their horses...something else had gone on.
One area in which I DO have confidence. I know I listen well to the horse and try to adjust accordingly. I have learned a lot about this and have seen what I have learned works with my own. Trying it with other horses is new to me (though Ricky confirmed it with the squeeze vs. bumping thing). I have seen a horse a bit like the one I might ride at J's on Friday (Breezy) try for all he is worth to speak to the humans in his life and when the humans listened the horse was a different being. I want to make it my goal to listen to the horse that I am on in the moment and to be a breath of fresh air for the horse so that he actually is relieved that I have been aboard instead of someone else with heavy hands and a deaf ear.